Temper tantrum: Taming that ANGRY monster; Let’s face it we all at some point in our motherhood lives will or have to deal with a screaming baby. Yep, I’m one of those moms who had to carry my screaming baby out the room, with judge eyes staring at me. These little ones’ can throw a loud screaming fit when they want to. It doesn’t help that when they do, other judge Nancy’s put the blame on us.
What did you do to the baby? That’s the first question they ask. And if you are a crier like me, the tears in my eyes (no matter how brave and strong I’m trying to be) sell me out. It is overwhelming and heartbreaking when the temper tantrums come. Our sons and daughters are unaware of the environment or how neat and perfect we are trying to put out. A temper tantrum hurts and is the real deal.
What is a temper tantrum?
Signs to watch out for
- Kicks in the air
- Rolls on the floor
- Hands flaring everywhere
How to stop a temper tantrum.
Firstly, I must say that when a baby or toddler is in full blown tantrum, it is hard to make it stop. There is no on and off switch. Sigh how I surely wish there was one. But there are things to do when you notice one rising. Sometimes they spring out of what seems like nowhere to us, but there are small hints to watch out for.
Causes of temper tantrum:
Hunger is a big culprit for a temper tantrum.
Overwhelm: sometimes if a toddler is over stimulated and overwhelmed, it may cause a temper tantrum. Too many people, too many things to see, the tiny brain has absorbed too much info that it shuts down.
Baby might be Frightened / Scared
Illness: You might be able to tell if your child is uncontrollably crying for hours on end and not stopping. Your child maybe ill, take them to the doctor for a full checkup.
Mommy in check?
Mom needs to be calm and patient. As their tempers rise, ours rise too. And toddlers and babies feed off our emotions, when they see that we are losing it, they tend to lose it more. Practice breathing exercises. Slowly count 1 to 10. Pray. Meditate. Speak calming mantras. If possible, make sure your child is in a safe place, walk away for a few minutes and calm yourself down. Put a big smile on your face and try again after you calm down. If you are going through postpartum depression, you are not alone, please, please, seek help.
Why do babies and kids have temper tantrums:
Because they are human. These little beings have no way of communicating. They do not have words for you to understand what they want. So, the only way that they know for you to notice is a big dive on the floor and kicks in the air.
The first step is to realize and admit that your child is human and will have good and bad days just like you. Be extra patient during the bad days.
Ways to help reduce one.
Always make sure your little one leaves home with a full tummy. And carry good and healthy snacks as well as liquids that your little one loves and some they have never tried before. Be sure to offer them to your child as you go.
Overwhelm: Try and take advantage of your kids nap time. And keep your outdoors’ adventure to a minimal. Take the child out of the stimulants. Go to a quiet place, sit still and hold your little one. Sing quiet songs, rock your baby. Touch is important. Tell them you love them. And speak in gentle voices that you understand what they are going through.
Try baby massage
Patience: It may seem like nothing is working but continue at it. The little one must snap out of his or her tantrum to notice your soothing calmness. It should be able to break through with patience.
Distraction: I have learnt (the hard way) to distract my son. After removing him from what made him flip, I distract him. We are learning colors so now I look for the color around us. In an exaggerated happy voice, I go “WOW, look at color red. Can you find or see color red?” Or talk in a weird robot voice. Grab the attention of your little on in a fancy way to snap them out of the tantrum.
Music: Sing, dance, play music, put their favorite show. Music has a way of speaking to the soul and calming us down.
Baby wearing: Touch is important. The closeness of you to your baby. Your rhythmic breathing and beating of your heart have a melody and triggers all those moments your baby was in your tummy. That helps to calm a baby down. The best way is through baby wearing.
Rest: When your baby is tired, Eyes red, yawning, rubbing eyes, they need to sleep. My son tends to fight his sleep, and keep himself awake, till he can’t anymore, and the temper tantrum arises. Baby wearing helps, taking them out of the scene. Whatever helps your baby sleep, do it.
Lovies, dummies, breastfeeding:
Your child has a favorite thing that helps and soothes them. Use them.
If your baby is too hot, take shoes, socks and jacket off. If too cold, dress them up. Sometimes it can be shoes are too tight or something is pricking them. Check that their clothing is set right, and diaper is ok.
If the tantrum persists, give the baby to someone else that your child knows and is close to. Maybe your mother, father, brother, sister or husband.
If your child is frightened. You will need to be there for them. Hold them, touch them, sing for them. Make them aware of your presence. Your calmness will assure their security. At a young age, we are our children’s’ security. A child runs and hides behind us, we are their shields. They trust that we will take care of them. Being there for them assures them, that all is well.
Sometimes giving your child space helps. Get down to your child’s level. If it means sitting on the floor next to them do that, don’t force your way to them. Sit at an eyeshot distance (within arms-reach) while watching them. Making sure there are no harmful objects around them.
With a smile on your face and arms open wide. You are letting them know that you are giving them some space, but You are there and close by if they need you. Your toddler will soon walk into your arms and you can calm them down.
A mom in need:
If you are a mommy and you see another mommy in dire distress, don’t be a stranger. Approach them in a peaceful manner. Give them a small compliment, Request if you may help with the bags they are carrying (please don’t steal). Or just ask them if the need help in general. If not give a small compliment. Or a knowing smile, a squeeze of the shoulder.
A small assurance that mom you are doing good is a big help. Or if she accepts, offer advise on how to help. We don’t need any more judge Nancy’s. We are all trying our very best. Lets’ support one another at this game called motherhood. There is no one perfect we are all winging it. No matter how much we fail to admit it.
In conclusion: Key notes when handling a temper tantrum:
- Remove the child from overwhelm.
- Check for uncomfortableness.
- Mommy in check!
- Touch, soothe, sing and distract them.
- Toddler busy box
- Help another mommy.
More from MrsChettyLife: www.mrschettylifestyle.co.za/resilient/