Reasons To Become A SAHM
When my son was born I knew from the start that I wanted to be a SAHM. I fell in love with him so deeply and this decision was an easy one. My husband told me to think through it during the months I was on maternity leave and we will talk about it again. 3 months into my maternity leave I still stuck with my decision. We looked into our finances. Asked for advice from my parents and our friends. At the end of it my decision still stood. My husband supported me. And here I am 5 days into when I was supposed to go back to work and still loving it.
Growing up I always wanted to be a good mother to my kids when I have them. And I always wanted the very best for them. My motherly heart is always drawn to children. I was a big part of my young brothers life from when he was about 3 months to 3 years. My parents where working and I was at home with him. Some people thought he was actually my son because of our closeness. So I had an experience with children. And I would help in Sunday school at church.
Here are my top reasons to become a SAHM, some challenges I have experienced. I have only been a SAHM since my son was born that’s 4 months ago.
I am a deep lover. I want to show my son how much love I have for him. How he can trust me and learn to depend on me. To be free and open with me. Every relationship needs to be built. And being a SAHM is a big way to build especially with a person so young its difficult for them to understand what love is. I want to be his first example of true love. This involves constantly sacrificing myself to meet his needs.
I was working at this job for 4 years It was my first job and I got comfortable and stayed. No matter what challenges I faced, how alone I felt in a place full of people, I stayed. Pregnancy and birth showed me a lot of things I did not know about myself. It revealed to me how comfortable is not always the right thing for me.
I chose to be happy. My son brings me this happiness. I did this job for the money. But now I am pursuing happiness.
I refuse to miss my sons milestones. Being the first to hear his real laughter, to see him smile, watching him discover his fingers. To watch him think of a strategy of how he will get himself up to sitting position because he didn’t like laying down and so much more. I want to witness the event as it happens and not the foretold aftermath. Oh the joy of the first hand discovery, I felt part of it as I watch him discover, learn and grow. It’s a deeper connection. Plus I get all the hugs and kisses. He looks for me in a room full of people. When someone holds him, he turns to look at me instead of whoever is carrying him. I am his whole world. I am all he knows. He depends on me for everything and knows I meet his needs. When he is in tears, or hungry I help him feel better. His eyes light up when he sees me. And that melts my heart. I feel it’s because I get to spend so much time with him.
I refuse to let him grow up in a system. Or have some other person grow him. He is my son and my husbands. Why should someone else have an upper hand when it comes to growing him?
I get to hug him all day. I miss him when he is asleep. We go through the stormy days, the teething days, the immunization days and the leaps together. He isn’t alone. This means my arms, back and neck ache. But when he gives me a stifled smile in between his moments it puts me together. I can do this We can do this. We learn each other. I also get to see all sorts of issues in his diaper changes more.
I am exclusively breastfeeding. I don’t even use a pump because he rejects the bottle. This is more bonding time for me. No one gets to see how hungrily and greedily he gulps down every drop of milk. How his eyes roll back because it is too delicious for him. How the massive headache goes slightly away when he sucks. How peaceful and calm he looks because he is in his happy place. This also means I get the little but hard pinches when he tries to shove the boob into his mouth. And I can’t go away from him for long because he has to feed often. Plus in the beginning I felt a little used because milk was all he wanted from me. As he is growing older he is starting to see me for other things too.
I developed attachment issues like my son.
I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him. I mean him leaving me. And liking the nanny or day care teacher more than me. Excuse me but I am the one who carried him for 9 months. I had to endure the oh so wonderful ills of pregnancy. So allow me to stare into his beautifully intense eyes as long as I want.
I have heard horror stories about nanny and daycare. While this may not be applicable to all but who knows your story isn’t the one? I’m not taking the risk. I know where my son is, what he is doing, who he is associating himself with and most of all I know he is absolutely safe. Yes I can’t keep him from all the dangers of the world and he will reach a stage where he will need to venture out but I will try my best as a mom to keep him as safe as I can. And pray he learns the skills to survive and pray he is safe. God keeps him safe. Safe under my watchful eye.
I can now do my own thing.
And not lose myself in the day-to-day 7am to 5pm job. That was not who I am. I can do what I like to do. In between the naps or with baby wearing. I can go to online school (university). I can blog and do DIY, listen to music all day long, enjoy my closet space as I am an introvert. It’s perfect for me.
I looked at my salary and it was very little to make ends meet. I couldn’t even pay rent. All costs resulted in more than what my salary was providing.
Plus I only want one child. Even if we have another every child has different needs.
I am absolutely grateful to this opportunity I have to spend with my son.
I wouldn’t change it for the world. Even with some rough days I am glad I am a SAHM. I am blessed.
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