Ramblings from a First Time Mother.
Nathaniel is growing. He is 5+ months, 23 weeks and 5 days to be exact. I can see a bit of his personality.
He doesn’t like to be ignored. He is strong. He is strong-willed. If he wants something it’s hard to change his mind. He doesn’t like his toys but likes mummy’s toys (cell phone and laptop).
He understands ‘hi’ ‘bath’, ‘eat’, ‘let’s go’, ‘daddy’ ‘mama’ ‘kiss’, ‘change your diaper’, ‘cry’ ‘papu (baby wearing). He says hi, hello and tries to say I love you.
He differentiates between who is family and a stranger. When I am near and far from him. He cries if I am not near. He startles at dad’s cough and sneeze.
He is fascinated by his toes and feet. When he has socks and shoes on, he tries to take them off to play with his feet.
He is having a little bit of solids, one meal per day and getting flavors of new foods. He is still exclusively breastfeeding. He is sitting up on his own. He joins in our conversation.
He kinda responds to his name and follows the direction of my voice. He talks in church. He responds when you speak to him.
We are slowly introducing him to the bottle because he wouldn’t take it. He smiles this beautifully dimpled smile. Loves people if I am holding him. Laughs when I laugh. Reaches out to grasp and hold something.
Cries for what I am eating. Splashes water in the bath. Opens his arms wide when he wants me to carry. He had his first few hours without me at his Nana’s (grandma). He likes to stand, sit up and tries to crawl with his bum up in the air.
He is growing so fast.
Time is flying. *ugly tears proud crying*. I look at newborn babies and I think to myself that Nathaniel was once like that. Nathaniel can’t sit still. He maneuvers his body in odd positions.
He gets stuck and starts to cry. Even when I hold him he throws himself in all directions. My reflex handle has kicked in big time. Speaking of not sitting still, my baby had his first fall. And I cried, I think I cried more than he did.
My baby refuses to sleep all day long. The most he sleeps is 30 minutes and he is up and active after his power nap. He is intrigued by the face. He grasps your face hard.
He let’s out his opinion when he is not happy with something. Nathaniel also checks around to see what he can play with. He pushes my hand away when he does not want me to do something.
I subconsciously think to myself What am I doing? Am I doing it right? Am I a good mother? Is my baby ok, fed, loved, growing well, gaining weight, meeting milestones and more for his age, safe, dressed, clean, happy, satisfied?
You know when they say motherly instinct comes along with the glorious birth of your baby.
That was one of my worries when pregnant. I’ve never done this before. How will I know what to do? I wanted the benefit of raising my son. You can read this write up of reasons-to-become-a-sahm
Well that staff is real hey. Motherly instinct is real. You just know what to do when faced with anything concerning your child. If not research yourself off but trust that inner you that just knows.
My body is having a toll on me. My arms hurt from carrying him all day and my back especially when he is having a rough day. I thought I could be a superhero do it all SAHM. But it is a lot of work.
I got someone to help with chores in the house at least once a fortnight. And I learnt my baby is ok with other people taking care of him too. Right now I’ll say I’m comfortable with my mother only and my husband without me being there.
My best friend Clarissa randomly sent me a text saying that the fact I worry about being a good mother means I am one. I met a lady from church for the first time and she said I am a calm mother.
My 8-year-old brother looked at me and said I am a good mother. And my mother yesterday told me that motherhood suits me after watching me with Nathan for a while.
I sometimes wonder and worry if I’m doing it right. But then I look at my son. He is happy and healthy.
All this positive feedback is very supportive.
It encourages me through the rough days. When I feel I’m not doing right. My son doesn’t care, he doesn’t judge me. His little smile pushes me forward.
He still needs and loves me. I love watching him discover new things. It gives me a whole different perspective to life and I feel rejuvenated.
All you first time mothers out there. The very fact that you are reading this right now means that you care for your child. Well done mom, you are doing a good job. It’s not easy but keep striving and holding on.
I just want to let you know that things will get better. You will find who you are as a mother. It will get easier as you continue to practice. The better you will be. We are still discovering and getting to know our little ones as they discover themselves and the world we live in.