Breastfeeding is hard.

Breastfeeding is hard.

When I was pregnant.

I opted to breastfeeding full-time. There was no doubt about it.

Disclaimer: We all have our views and I am not here to debate whether it’s a better choice to bottle feeding. I’m only here to share my experience.

Right now stepping right into it. When I gave birth my milk did not come till 4 days after birth. The hospital was very pro-breastfeeding and the nurses kept saying I was doing it wrong.


Apparently the baby is supposed to suck on to induce the milk flow. But Nathaniel wouldn’t hold on. He would simply open his mouth and expect milk to flow. When he did suck on, nothing came out. His latch was not firm. It caused frustrations and he began to scream. We tried this many times. I would end up giving up and ask for a bottle of milk.

I had lots of random people (well technically they are midwives) physically hold my breasts and put it into my baby’s mouth.

No milk came out.

It didn’t help that there were other ladies in the room I was in who also just gave birth but didn’t have my struggles. This is my first baby. I expected everything to flow naturally. I mean that’s what I was told.

emoji cry pillows

This crushed me. None of the birth plans I had worked out and it made me feel like a failure. My gynecologist came for a check up and I told him my frustrations. He prescribed lactation supply medicines. As I had a c section, We were discharged from hospital 4 days later. With no milk flow.

Later on that day my breasts were engorged.

This was so very painful. Baby was finally asleep, I couldn’t wake him to feed. I went into the shower and squeezed. This helped a little as the some of the milk run out. When my baby woke up he fed and I smiled. This felt much better. My headache from engorgement went away. Nathaniel didn’t have the tummy aches that formula was giving him either.

Sometimes he would forget how to latch and this would cause a little trail and error then suddenly he would remember and he is feeding happily again.

About 5-6 months later, Nathaniel is exclusively breastfeeding. He will continue till about a year.

To moms out there, if you going through something similar. Don’t listen to them when they say you are doing it wrong. It is not your fault. Your body has its own natural way to deal with things and if it won’t go the way you expect it to it doesn’t mean you are a failure.

Sometimes patience pays, sometimes it just doesn’t work out.

And in those instances don’t be hard on yourself. Let it go and go with the flow, your baby will direct on what s/he needs. And you as a mother will do what is best and right for your child. This will come naturally to you. Methods work differently for each person. A baby in the womb feeds differently. So when s/he is born, feeding is a learning process for him / her.

When it comes to pregnancy, birth and children you cannot predict anything that goes on. What matters is that the child is well, healthy and fed. It doesn’t matter what method is used.

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4 thoughts on “Breastfeeding is hard.”

  1. Well said! I am currently breastfeeding my last baby. He is 19 m I can’t believe I have gone this long. I am really proud but I am really done. He isn’t though.

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