heal

4 steps to heal and love yourself again.

4 steps to heal and love yourself again.

resolve

Dear old me,

I know you have done, seen, said and been through much. I forgive you for that. I forgive everyone who done much to me too. I am stepping up, shaking off the dirty laundry and moving forward in wholeness, truth and healing. You will not hold me back any longer. I choose to let go and move on to a better me.

Cheers NEW ME!

Step 1. Forgive yourself:

We tend to beat ourselves for one wrong thing we may have done in the past. Self-healing starts with forgiving yourself. You feel it may have been your fault. You feel if you had done things differently it would not have resulted that way. You may have made mistakes. But you can’t cry over spilt milk. You cannot run away nor rewrite your past. It happened, you failed, it may have changed a lot of things in the present. But you cannot change the past.

Somethings you can make up for and write your future. Others need to be accepted as they are. Burying things have a funny way of resurfacing just when things are going well for you. You may meet ‘Stacey’ who witnessed the whole thing and Stacey has a pot-mouth who spills your beans. Well, thank you Stacey. One way to move on is to forgive yourself. As simple as that sounds but as hard as it maybe. Forgiveness has a way of softening your heart, bring healing, helps make you whole again paving way for a step forward. Forgive!

“Let go of who you think you are supposed to be and be who you are.”

Brene Brown

Step 2. Go back to the source:

We sometimes feel if we change the way we look by cutting our hair or losing weight, we will feel better about ourselves. My house has an ant revolution going on and is infested with ants. We simply kill the little ants we see on the surface when pieces of food drop on the floor, but they just keep coming back. I spoke to our neighbor and she said go to the source. You may paint your outward look, but your ants are still killing you on the inside. Kid you not, those pests are very good at hiding. What you need is to go back to the source and heal from the source.

Whatever way that works for you, whether it means finding closure to why s/he left or going to the neighborhood you run away from, going to therapy or doing meditation. All that matters is that you find your source of ants. It may badly hurt and break you to pieces, those pieces will be mended into something beautiful www.mrschettylifestyle.co.za/shattered-pieces/.

“Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we will ever do.” Brene Brown

Stop running away. If you need to break down and cry, don’t stop the tears. I watched this movie by Tyler Perry- Temptation: Confessions of a marriage counselor. One summary of this movie can be Melinda is afraid and continuously runs away from her ex. She confronts him at the end and that’s were her healing began. Forgiveness may also mean forgiving your perpetrator for the sake of your sanity. Forgive but don’t go back. Move forward.

“Accept your past but don’t let it hinder your present and your future.” MrsChettyLife

Step 3. Embrace your scars:

It has become common for women to take pictures of their c-sections. I also gave birth through c-section due to a few complications. Coming from one who was highly set on giving birth naturally. The first thing I asked and wondered is that will the scar go away. 10 months later, my scar is healed but still looks the same. I tried applying oils to make it go away, it hasn’t. (My son and I merged well from the operation).

Not all scars are visible. Some scars are hidden. They are embedded on the heart. Some people go through long measures to get rid of their scars. Whatever scars you have. However unpleasant way you may have obtained them. Embrace your scars. I have now embraced my scars and my mom handles. Your scars are there to remind you how strong you are having gone through everything and you are still standing.

Your scars are there to help someone about to go through or are going through something similar. Your scars make you unique, special and different. Different in a good way. Your scars give you a different outlook to life and you react to things in a special way. Your scars give you insight to avoid similar situations.

“You work so hard to fix yourself, but maybe what you need isn’t another tactic, another book, another five-step plan. Maybe, you don’t need to be fixed. Maybe, what’s really holding you back is the idea that you need to be fixed.”

Vironika Tugaleva  

Step 4. Re-discover and accept yourself:

You are worth more than rubies. You are worth more than your past and more than your scars. You are transformed into someone new. Get to know this person. This person is not the same person s/he was three years ago. You have gone through pain, life changes, forgiveness, healing, embracing and rediscovering yourself.

Your experience has redefined how your life should be and what it looks like. Learn the new you. Do things to help you discover YOU. Your past has taught you who your true friends are. You have emerged like a butterfly from its cocoon, solid, different and so beautiful. Be positive and shine www.mrschettylifestyle.co.za/teaching-yourself-positive-affirmations

“The greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection.” Henri Nouwen

In conclusion:

4 steps to love yourself again are forgiveness, going back to the source, embracing your scars and rediscovering yourself. You are still alive. Make every minute count. Fly Little butterfly! This is your time to sparkle. You have been made anew and given a second chance. You will make it. May your heart be whole again. By the way, one thing you must not do is find your identity in someone else. Don’t give anyone that power. Only you have it in you. Tap into your inner strength and capitalize on it.

More from MrsChettyLife: www.mrschettylifestyle.co.za/light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel

4 ways to heal

25 comments / Add your comment below

  1. This piece is so beautiful, I am nearly in tears. We all have a lot to heal from these days. And we all deserve to love our selves and be loved! I love the part about embracing your scars.

  2. The part about embracing your scars spoke to me. I am just now starting to see some of the positives that my experience of postpartum anxiety has gifted me. I now have much more understanding on how to relate and connect with new mamas. Great post!

  3. I LOVE this!! Thank you for writing it. I need to print this out and put it up on the wall in front of my desk. Good stuff here.

  4. These are great tips and I totally agree!! I can say I am in a really great place now but after a few bad relationships and not taking time for myself, it made my inner struggle so much worse. Now that I have take some years to be single and go through these same steps you listed, I now love myself fully. Great post!!

  5. I love these. It’s so hard to move forward when there is so much we continue to hold onto in so many areas of our lives. Thank you for really diving into ways we can begin true healing.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Jetpack
%d bloggers like this: